|Old pic of a Southern Tease Bun|
I went out last Saturday with an old friend, lets call him J, and his friends. Met them at a hookah bar and then bar hopped a bit after that. *Sidebar: people always find it odd that I’m down to kick it even though I don’t drink. Then after hanging with me a bit, they eventually realize it doesn’t matter – I’m full of laughs!* I was wearing my new love, Sensationnel HZ-7048. If you haven’t seen my review on it, you’re missing out! Anyway….as soon as I walked in, one of J’s friends exclaimed “I love your hair, it looks really nice!” I hadn’t even been introduced to him yet so his enthusiasm caught me off guard! I smiled and said thank you – and later we ended up getting into a light hair convo (he brought it up not me, I promise I’m not that hair obsessed!!!) and I told him I was wearing a wig. He shrugged and said “It doesn’t matter, it looks good as hell!” And I thought to myself…now THAT’S what I’m talkin bout! Its freakin 2-0-1-1. Men, and women for that matter, taking extreme issue over people who wear or utilize fake hair is ridiculous. If it looks good and you rock it with confidence….who the heck cares?!
I asked my brother his opinion if I decide to grow out my relaxer (told ya’ll I refuse to use the terms “going natural” or “transitioning” any time soon) and he replied “I don’t even know what that means…” That’s us to the right in 1984 for my first Easter (Whooo, my forehead was HUGE!) Now, to give you a little insight, my brother is the polar opposite of me. Quiet, nonchalant, sometimes even detached, so I shouldn’t have been surprised by this response. So in typical little sister fashion, I whined “You knowwww! When we get our hair chemically straightened, permed, whatever as opposed to its natural kinky or nappy state like Aunt D.” He immediately exclaimed “YOU WANNA LOOK LIKE AUNT D?!?!” Needless to say Aunt D isn’t the best example of well groomed natural hair. I laughed and said…no I’d be more like Jill Scott on my kinky days and Gabrielle Union on my straight days. They both have type 4 natural hair. Now…the funny thing is my brother wore his 4A hair around SL for about 10 years, either in braids or coil twists, so you’d think he’d be familiar right? NOT! After telling him that he was like “Iono.” Smh, he tries to act like he couldn’t care less; Funny thing is, a couple of his female friends ratted him out. I know for a fact he tells people of my “hair knowledge” and has even spread the word about my YT channel. He’s happy and dare I even say impressed with my hair progress, although I would never hear that come outta his mouth. Heck, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was reading this RIGHT NOW!
*waves, hi there!* lol.
Lastly one of my best friends is G from college, he’s my homie and we talk about everything under the sun. I mentioned to him once last year (told you I go thru these thoughts every 3-4 months) that I was considering going natural. Now to explain about G…I often accuse him of being color-struck and suffering from “good hair” syndrome. Actually my hair interest probably turned into more of an obsession back when we dated in college. Even after doin’ the do, he’d wake me and remind me to wrap my hair and put on my scarf! LOL. In college, I taught him how to grease my scalp and he would do it for me weekly. He has damn near a fetish for long hair and his past few girlfriends have all had hair that is between APL and WL, usually of a looser curl pattern. Anyway, when he asked what it meant and I explained, he got deadly serious and after a brief moment of silence said “Please don’t do that.” He was so solemn about it I actually laughed and asked if it really matters that much?! He said yes, that straight long hair ALWAYS looks better than short hair, curly hair, and definitely kinky/nappy hair (like I have). I asked him if he’d want his wife to relax while pregnant. He thought about it and said, “well no…” I asked if he’d want to relax his daughter(s) if he has them. He said little kids are exempt from the “beauty rules” but that by time she was in high school yes. I got really disgusted and wished my hair were natural so I could set about changing his mind. I told him, not to worry that Aunt Ebony would save his baby girls from his skin color and hair issues! I will make sure they have plenty of self-esteem and beautiful natural hair at least until they reach adulthood. The thing is he’s Nigerian and his entire family is very dark with type 4 hair. Why he has such a strong, skewed view of beauty is beyond me.
After talking to the various men in or who have passed thru my life, I realize a few things. I realize that I need a man who will appreciate my long hair (yes I claim I will have it by time I’m married, lol) and the work that I’ve had to put into obtaining and retaining it. I need a man who won’t complain about the amount of time it takes to do it, the space it takes to store my hair products, or the amount of money I spend on hair stuff! I need a man who supports my different styles, both real and fake hair. I need a man who will have an opinion on whatever hair questions I ask, because I’m gonna want his input. I need a man who won’t complain about my scarf, bonnet, or wrap! Although, I will be investing in several sets of satin or silk sheets so that I won’t have to have my scarf on all the time whenever I do get married. Just my thoughts on men and hair.