So often I see people announce they are going to transition to natural hair, get all excited and gung-ho, map out their plan and end up relaxing their hair a few months later. Fine by me, judgement never even enters my mind. If you’re happy and your hair is healthy, I’m ecstatic. But what does give me food for thought are the reactions of the person who just relaxed their hair. Some of the phrases include:
- I caved!
- Back to the creamy crack.
- I just couldn’t…
- Maybe I’ll be able to do it in the future.
- I gave in!
All of those phrases sound like excuses and are slightly, if not blatantly, negative. My reaction is to the phrases, not the decision. Why do you have negative thoughts about a choice you felt was best for you and your hair? Do you feel because of the “natural movement” that you have failed or can’t hack it in the hair world? Why do you often feel the need to explain or defend your decision to end – even if temporarily – your transition to natural hair?
I’ve done it before. At the start of my journey, circumstances led me to stretch my relaxer for seven months. I never intended to transition but the further into the stretch I became, the more questions I received about whether or not I was “going natural” and I’ll admit I considered it. I never made a decision one way or the other and one dreadful wash day made the final call for me. My hair and I got in a fight during a detangling and straightening session and I lost. My hair beat me down honey! So, I decided to relax. I was so happy about my decision mainly because I’d finally made one and had no more reservations one way or the other. However, I did record a video talking about why I decided to relax to try to avoid the firestorm of criticism I felt sure would be hurled my way for deciding to “go back to the creamy crack.” (ugh hate that term!) But as for me – I couldn’t have been happier.
So why do you think there are negative thoughts and feelings of failure associated with deciding to end a planned transition? Do you think people really DO feel negative or do you think the staunch views of some naturals cause people to feel compelled to defend themselves? Have you done this?
I’d prefer there to be no negative feelings on either side of the fence. If you transition – my reaction is great, awesome, congratulations!!! I’ll be right there cheering you along through cyberspace! If you decide to continue to relax – again, great, awesome, I eagerly look forward to your touch up results! If you decide to end your natural journey and relax all of your natural hair – great, awesome and I look forward to seeing you become familiar with your newly relaxed hair. My reaction is always GOOD, GREAT, AWESOME as long as you are happy and your hair is healthy.