Going Natural: How to Help Friends Decide

Going Natural: How to Help Friends Decide


November 2013 was my four year Curliversary! I completely forgot to mention it on social media or somewhere…oh well. Happy Curliversary to Farrah! (That’s my hair’s name. Lol.)

Going natural was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. For me the decision wasn’t really for cosmetic reasons but more for health. After watching the movie Good Hair by Chris Rock I was determined to try the “natural thing” out of fear. Fear that the chemicals in relaxers would take a toll on my body since I come from a family with a history of cancer. And, fear of it entering my bloodstream when God blesses me with a child. I know for many it’s not that deep but for me it was [at the time]. That said, my experience is and has been very different from other naturals I have met along my journey. I come from a different place when explaining the process of “going natural” and the positives to having fully natural hair.

Over the years I have influenced my mom, sister and many friends to go natural. I educate in a loving way because I think women need the truth and not judgment. When asked “how I do it” I listen just as much as I talk. Here are my tips on helping your friend or family go natural.

Going Natural Helping Friends Decide - Longing 4 Length

1. Be honest. Sure we all see the amazing hair styles on Instagram and YouTube from our favorite bloggers and vloggers. BUT, let’s be real, depending on your hair length and/or texture and type those glam styles can take hours. Tell your friend that. But also tell her that once naturals set our hair it’s usually for a week or two. This cuts down on style time during the week. There have been many mornings when all I do is remove my satin scarf or bonnet, fluff my hair a little and I’m out the door.

2. Listen. Your friend’s reasons or hesitations may be different from yours. That’s okay. Listen and make sure it’s a “no judgment zone” when y’all talk.

3. Share information. When you find a new YouTube tutorial that is easy (keyword: easy) pass it along to highlight that being natural does not have to mean wash day takes a *full* day!

4. Share products. If you have something that works for you let your friend know about it. If you have something that doesn’t work for you also let your friend know about it. Ask questions about her hair and encourage her to get a hair consultation and scalp analysis so you both know what her hair is like. Remember: if a product doesn’t work for you it might work for her. Pass it along.

5. Respect her. If your friend ultimately decides going natural is not for her, simply accept it and move forward with the friendship. Don’t let hair come between you.

Going Natural Helping Friends Decide - Longing 4 Length

If you are contemplating going natural, what information do you want to know?

To those who already have fully natural hair, what tips (if any) did your friends share with you?  Please share in the Comments section below.

  • Paris Cymone

    I’ve been contemplating going natural for almost a couple of years now. I’m proud that I can stretch my relaxers, & I am currently almost 7 months post now (yay me! lol), & everyday I run my fingers thru my new growth & fall in love with the curly & waviness of the many patterns I feel. I really want to grow my hair out to let it become healthier, but im honestly afraid to even transition to fully natural. I sometimes feel like im under a microscope with a few of my relaxed strands out of place, but to be working with 2 different textures at once? I feel like I would automatically get the “stank look” from others, even a few of those close to me. How can I overcome this fear?

    • First, congrats on taking steps towards growing HEALTHY hair and stretching for seven months, that’s awesome! Second, if rocking two textures intimidates you, why not try a few long term protective styles like box braids, Senegalese twists, or even a sew in to help you along the way? If your not a fake hair girl, I would recommend wearing styles that blend the two textures like braidouts, bantu knot outs, or straightening.

  • Great tips 🙂